Pressure is a Privilege

I am mindlessly watching ESPN. Some sports center-ish athlete interview with what I thought was a worthless jock. And then, in the middle of talking about stress, Julie Foudy (the supposed worthless jock) comes out with the following:

“Pressure is a privilege”

Wow. That is a deep one. Like, it may not have a bottom. And certainly, no top.

Think it through just a bit in relation to your life. I know that when I look at my life, pressure has been a part of it. In reviewing the pivotal points in my career, I had choices to make that the majority of people in this country don’t get to make. I was in a position to make those choices because of what and where I was. I never thought that was a disadvantage. And then Foudy utters the words that make it all ring true. I had the privilege of pressure.

How many of us can claim something similar in our everyday work? We don’t punch a clock. Other than the processes and procedures we develop for our customers – no real set routine. We pressure ourselves to exceed expectations. We are not flipping burgers, pushing an idiot stick, or grinding through a personal episode of “Dirty Jobs.”

Don’t get me wrong. All those jobs need doing. Somebody does them and I am glad it is not me. But there are whole rafts of job categories that the doer just drones through – the same thing every day, every week, every month, year after year.

And then you and I get to make our own schedule, find and create lasting customer and professional relationships, and have an upside only limited by our own ambition, drive, and motivation. Not everyone can claim even part of that.

Give me the pressure to succeed. We have serious mental exercise. We must be agile, think on our feet, and sometimes work odd hours. 40-hour week? Rarely. But, flip all that around, It’s a privilege.

YMMV

15 Questions for Leaders to Ask

1. When Did I Last Look in The Mirror?

As leaders, let's encourage a culture of accountability, creativity and innovation by continually looking in the mirror to develop solutions for moving forward, particularly if something didn't go as planned. Rather than blaming or pointing fingers, we should reflect on how we'd like to be treated, roll up our sleeves, anticipate risks and leap forward to help. - Joanne Markow, GreenMason

2. Where Are My Blind Spots?

It's no surprise that leaders are extraordinarily talented and experienced professionals in their respective fields. Even still, no leader can attest to knowing everything. Everyone has blind spots and knowledge gaps, and when discovered, they must be addressed. No matter their achievements or the laundry list of recent wins, leaders should be eager to uncover their weak areas and improve them. - Karima Mariama-Arthur, Esq., WordSmithRapport

3. Am I Being the Change I Want to See?

The famous quote by Gandhi, "Be the change that you wish to see in the world," is very applicable for leaders. This first requires clarity on the impact you want to have as a leader, then ensures your actions and words role model that impact. If you are not successfully doing what you ask of others, you can't expect them to follow with enthusiasm. - Bonnie Davis, Destination Up

4. What Are My Reactive Triggers?

We all have reactive triggers. Knowing your reactive tendencies will allow you to shift to using these strengths in a creative and strategic way. Not asking this question keeps you reacting to day-to-day fires and situations and will dig a bigger and bigger hole. To step into strategic leadership, you must continually raise your personal awareness of how you react. Do you protect, comply or control? - Jenn Lofgren, Incito Executive & Leadership Development

5. Who Do I Need to Get Feedback From?

The question leaders need to ask is not to themselves, but to every single person who works for them. The best leaders are those who have developed relationships where the answers they get are genuine and honest. "What am I doing well, and what's in the way of my being the best possible leader I can be?" Getting feedback from others is far more important than any question you ask yourself. - David Butlein, Ph.D., BLUECASE Strategic Partners

6. What Don't I Know That I Need to Know?

And who from my team can fill in the gap? This is a great way to grow people around you, as you're paying attention to the fact that everyone knows something you don't. It shows respect for their knowledge, gives you a sense of how they think and can support you, and how you can help them grow, as well. - Donna Karlin, No Ceiling, Just Sky™ Institute

7. How Well Do I Listen and Connect with Others?

As a leader, do you really listen to others? How do you know and how do you demonstrate that you really heard the other person? When we actively listen to another person, trust develops, the other person feels valued and important, and miscommunication, misunderstandings, and misinterpretations decrease. Listening slows down the conversation where each individual feels more connected. - Melinda Fouts, Ph.D., Success Starts With You

8. Have I Made an Impact?

As part of a leadership audit, one must ask oneself if they are making an impact in the people they are leading. Yes, you may start out with a goal or mission, but ultimately a check-in is required to see if your approach needs to be adjusted based on your impact, to support your initiatives or lack thereof. - Niya Allen-Vatel, Resume Newbie

9. Am I Focused on My No. 1 Goal?

The key to leadership is to motivate others and oneself to doggedly pursue a specific goal. Often, in the heat of putting out fires and working on the business, instead of in the business, the pursuit of the primary goal (whether revenue, getting top talent, building a great product, etc.) gets pushed to the side. A "leadership audit" should recalibrate whether the pursuit is on track. - Yuri Kruman, Master The Talk Consulting

10. Am I Growing as A Leader?

We often reach a point in our leadership journey where we feel that we have found a groove and don't step outside our comfort zone. Instead, audit your leadership knowledge, management skills, strategy and innovation. Ask for on-the-spot feedback and conduct a 360-degree assessment with your team. By continuously expanding, you drive your own performance and engagement, and that of your team's. - Loren Margolis, Training & Leadership Success LLC

11. Is My Ax Sharpened?

The saying "sharpen your ax" comes from the parable of a woodcutter who chopped less wood because his ax was dull. Leaders get dull too. Without continuous learning and professional development, leaders can become less effective. So, while cultivating others, don't forget to sharpen your own ax. You'll then work smarter and not harder. Great leaders take the time to invest in themselves. - Tamiko Cuellar, Pursue Your Purpose LLC

12. How Do Unconscious Biases Impact My Decisions?

Unconscious bias affects decisions. We’ve developed many kinds of biases to help us navigate the world with a minimum effort, but they can also hinder someone from considering different options when making decisions. Leaders should learn to accept that we are all biased before we can begin to take positive action to identify them and to mitigate bias with specific strategies. - Maria Pastore, Maria Pastore Coaching

13. What Do I Get Paid to Do?

That's the question I find many leaders are stumped by, or the answer they provide is a template response. What are you paid to do? Generate revenue, build products, engineer solutions? Nope. You get paid to be a leader. What that genuinely means varies notably based on the leader and organization. True clarity on what being a leader is remains one puzzle piece I find many people struggle to find. - Leila Bulling Towne, The Bulling Towne Group, LLC

14. What Fears Am I Not Facing?

Each leader has their own set of fears. Each context brings new permutations for activating those fears. Seasoning can often mean developing skills to work around fears rather than facing them directly. A leadership audit that includes surfacing fears, along with how and when they manifest, is the first step to diminishing their hold. The second is holding yourself accountable to new behaviors. - Maureen Cunningham, Up Until Now Inc.

15. Am I Pushing or Pulling?

Leaders often share their vision and then tell their reports how to execute. These leaders are "pushing information" out and expecting folks to "snap to it." Evolved leaders work to pull information from their teams. When individuals are asked what their greatest aspirations are, not only does the goal become more compelling, but the team is all in, as they helped to create the vision. - Deborah Goldstein, DRIVEN Professionals

Coaching

Have you ever considered getting some help with professional development? Have you ever had someone, a co-worker perhaps, or a friend or family member ask for help with life? You got kids?

Each of these is a coaching relationship. I gave this subject some thought over the last few weeks. Both of my brain cells hurt. My spare brain cell was in sympathy pain. But in the end, I managed to separate mentor from coach.

A mentor gives general advice/guidance; a coach is focused on one or two specific items that need a change/improvement. For a more concise explanation, see this and this; followed by this and this.

If you walk away from that light reading with a puzzled look on your face, join the crowd. When I started down this path, I thought I had a good handle on the difference, the similarity, and the relative importance of each.

Now I see the need for constant re-construction of my viewpoints on each, and how mentoring is sort of the roof over many different coaching points. One of the critical pieces I consumed was a little video by Robert S. Kaplan.

Robert S. Kaplan is somewhat successful, and even if you don’t agree with his success, his words about coaching really hit home for me. Specifically, he states that that it is 100% the responsibility of the junior to get coaching. He then follows that up with the statement that it is 100% the responsibility of the senior to provide or perform the coaching that the juniors need. The individual is completely accountable for knowing their own strengths and weaknesses, and then to go get the coaching needed. The senior person is 100% accountable for knowing the juniors’ strengths and weaknesses and providing the coaching.

This 100% thing creates a coaching environment. Your job is not to sit and wait for it, it is your job to go out and get it.

I see how that applies from the Cxx level down to the “just hired” level. And when you look at it from that perspective, it makes the entire process very palatable. I know that I can surely use some coaching in an area or two. I try to help my team as I note issues. I sure hope they look to me or someone else for coaching.

Kaplan continues on by saying that coaching should be focused on one or two things the coached can improve on over a set period of time. Coaching requires the coach to KNOW the coached, or go discover the coachee by interviewing all the other co-workers. But either way, the coaching needs to be about specific skills or attributes that can be improved or accomplished over a set amount of time. Sounds just like a S.M.A.R.T goal, yes?

So, to sum this all up… Are you getting the coaching you deserve? Are you providing the coaching others deserve? Do you ask for help? Do others ask you to help? We are all in this together, and we can either fail together, or we can succeed together. I like the succeed option.

YMMV